computing was alright, but by that time i've already developed the worstttt sore throat. meh. and then met up with my two group mates and then we headed off to the library to do assignments. and then one got pretty stressed-up and pissed and fed up because another group member just doesnt seem to be interested in doing the assignment at all :/ i don't know that guy's jig too. but i think he's just lazy. and also the former was stressed up cuz we couldn't seem to be able to find any book about the topic we're doing, so it sucks, cuz we need three hard copy references.
but i kept looking. so yeah. going through thousands of shelves, walking around aimlessly sometimes lol... but i just didn't want to go back to them empty handed. (they gave up long ago though haha) so i kept looking.. and then they came for me haha. then they made me gave up LOL. they're like:"gahhh this library don't have this" for awhile to me and then they went back to our sitting place, to which i followed. :/ but mmm. after they sat down, my sight wandered to a nearby shelf, and then went to it.
picked up a random book, and then found it.
heh.
but yeah. it was cool.
so then i headed off to the com service. in absolutely no condition to be teaching ppl. sore throat, and fever coming up. looool. but yeah, i went on with it cuz i actually wanted to be done with it by next week.. but yeah. when i reached there, though, i found out the teacher wasnt there. and later on i found out her husband passed away.. oh God. but yeah. and then i sorta stayed there... and then.. um, the boy i was teaching last time, whom i shall call Cool, (and i actually do that, that is, call him Cool, but it was his idea lool), he remembered me haha and then dumped what he was doing and then accompanied me. but basically they were all chilling cuz the teacher wasnt there. so no studing for them. I was really, really glad. haha. so just chilled. and then Cool brought this game-thing-which-will-improve-your-maths-or-so-he-says and then we played for awhile..
and then i stopped myself. sigh. started thinking. i'm supposed to be teaching ppl. (ignoring considering my condition at the moment though). and then i asked Cool what happens when the teacher doesnt come and all and then he said they all take a break for that day. so i was troubled a bit. and then i told him that i came here to teach, but since they're not in the mood (a blind man could tell) then i'm useless here. and it seems unfair if i get my three hours doing nothing but chill with them, no teaching. it would've been a lousily-earned 3 hours. so i was like, i should go back.
but children have the sweetest hearts ever. Cool then took a book out and then said: "teach me now, brother."
sigh.
then we attacked 5 questions. but i could tell he was trying to concentrate (actually, he has trouble concentrating all the time) so i sorta stopped after the 5 questions. wondering what to do..
and then somehow we moved back to the maths improving game haha. and some other people joined us.. and then after a few games i decided its time to go home. i kinda need rest anyway. its crazy how sometimes some plan just jumps out and seems out of place, but then once you registered everything, everything seems to fall perfectly in place, everything with reason, if you'll just accept the impromptu plan. sigh.
but i felt sad. because i always have trouble comprehending, the fact that sometimes people trust me too much, or get close to me too much, and sometimes i push them away just a little bit because i'm scared i can't respond with the same degree of closeness or trust, and by pushing them away a little, maybe i won't hurt them as much as when i couldn't give them just as much.
because when i was stepping out of the door, Cool came and gave me a hug, and i felt sad, and terrible. because this short acquaintance, or should i say, while as it is, a short brotherly-love, will end. and i dunno. these always break my heart.